Perception is not the Whole Truth!

The way I see things‘, is a good way to talk about my viewpoint. Too often we tend to think that we have the whole truth.

I find that I need to help clients accept that their perception is understandable and yet it usually is not the truth about another person or situation. It is the ‘way’ they see. Often when people are in the middle of an experience they find it very hard to realize that their perception is very limited. We tell teenagers this, when they feel so sure about how they see things, but we don’t often enough, question our own feelings and views. It’s always useful to try step back, pause, reflect, take another’s opinion into account.

Perception in marriage and family counseling

The mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain! Is a very useful phrase to keep in mind. When we have problems we are like the climber who is limited due to his/her proximity to the mountain. Good therapy is one way to expand our view. We need to talk about how we see things and feel about things and we also need to keep ourselves open to different observations.

I have experienced people traumatized by events in their lives and struggling to believe that their view of life and experiences will change. It could be death, illness, extreme conflict with family, an affair, divorce, or one of the other many things that happen in life. At those times I have witnessed how perception can get fixed and stress and pain continue or increase. As people start to work through these experiences in therapy their perceptions are modified and their behaviors too. It’s often hard to estimate how long it will take but when it does begin to occur the change alleviates some of the suffering and stress. The initial problem has not been altered but the perception has. Truth is rarely, if ever, a given but is an evolving thing or process. In that sense, the truth can set us free.

Tony Fryer