Try Something Different

Trying something new can foster connections within relationshipsPeople often try to get the connection they strongly desire and cannot understand why their attempts don’t get them what they’ve been looking for. This can be a single person or someone in a marriage relationship. I am not talking about someone with huge problems in life but the average man or woman who feels they are not finding the intimate relationship they would love and that they feel a need for.

As I listen and reflect on so many life stories, from my objective position, it seems that the efforts people put in are substantial but often have remained the same for years. Too often the same action/approach is taken even though that action has never produced what they are looking for. It’s the definition of insanity and it is a common trait.

A good example would be the person who has always tried to look after the needs of others and wonders why someone doesn’t put the same effort to looking after them. I have found that these people have tended NOT to make clear to others what they need/want/desire. They frequently just don’t ask or else explode at a partner when they are frustrated by the lack of caring or understanding. Until they become aware of this tendency and start trying to change it, they will rarely (if ever) have the connection their heart longs for.

It is not a matter of being selfish but of healthy self-care. How can anyone love you if they don’t really understand what you need? The best relationship approaches I have observed are with a people who understand and feel understood, give and take, carry and are carried, etc.

No one knows exactly what YOU need to do differently but we know that doing the same thing, that has not worked, will perpetuate what you don’t want. Trying different things/approaches has more potential for creating the change!

For more information about building better communication and connectivity within relationships, contact Tony Fryer, MFT and ask about couples therapy.

Tony Fryer

About Tony Fryer
I am a Systemic Marriage and Family Therapist/Mediator and a Team Building Consultant. I have my own Private Practice in Cincinnati and am originally from Ireland. See for more information about me and my work.

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